LESSONS FROM CONSWERVATIVE U.

LESSONS FROM CONSWERVATIVE U.
*by Scoppertop
Copyright 2006

Back to School. Isn’t it interesting how the well-placed addition of the letter “W” can turn the word conservative, an adjective, into an action verb, con-swervative? Whatever the word, doesn’t it kinda conjure up visions of Halloween candy dancing in the heads of college Republicans, while snug in their beds?

No? In last year’s pre-October surprise, Bush lectured the earth in preparation for his Iran invasion in NYC at the 2005 UN Security Council Summit, which I’m sure sounded like the voice of my grandmother over the bellowing they’d been hearing from his monstrous creation, John Neck-Bolton. Snaa’aaarl.

BTW, Grandmother always said, “When people say something bad about somebody else, they’re really talking about themselves.” Why, it's Grammie’s old “takes-one-to-know-one” routine, and the eve of Iran-Gate ‘06 seems the perfect time to share my handed-down analysis.

IF YOU CAN'T SAY SOMETHING NICE...

Text from Bush’s UN speech is used here to demonstrate the “swerve” technique -- he begins his self-revealing banter as early as paragraph two, right after the opening niceties:

“We meet just over two months after the terror attacks in London, one year after the terrorist massacre of schoolchildren in Beslan, and four years after the terrorist attack in this city. Acts of terrorism like these emerge from a radical ideology that tolerates no dissent, and justifies the murder of innocent people as the best way to achieve its goals.” G.W. Bush, 9/14/05

Uhh, last I checked, Bush has actually upped his intolerance to “combative” dissent with his neo-Military Commissions Act, and, uhhh-oh... isn’t murder what “he” did to the “now deceased” Iraqi “innocent” people who got in “his” way? In our name? About 655,000 of them at last report?

...DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!

Bush has been telling us for years that staying the course for victory (which implies the existence of a country of losers -- Tsk) is the best way to achieve our goals in Iraq. Why are “these” acting radical ideologues’ goals any different than “his?” Bush now thinks the answer is found in the Iraqi toleration of a level of violence (read: murder) toward 655,000 “real” humans in their quest for freedom. It’s almost at Biblical levels of toleration.

There’s more... and again, it’s Abra-ka-Dubya’s brand of revelatory magic:

“The United States also reaffirms its commitment
to support the prevention of unjust armed conflict,
particularly in Africa...”
-- G.W. Bush, 9/14/05

Did ka-Dubya’s statement come with the hidden disclaimer, “except for me, whereas, I reserve the right to fabricate so-called enemy possession of WMDs, AND I’m allowed to use criminal acts of treason to prevent anyone from exposing evidence of my fabrications.”

WILL IT EVER COME CLEAN?

Next up, ka-Dubya reveals he’s had a plan all along -- and “real” humans could wisely change this plan to fit Bush and his “enablers,” if we want to stop their neo-shenanigans:

“We must do all we can to disrupt each stage of planning
and support for terrorist acts. Each of us must act, consistent
with past Security Council resolutions, to freeze terrorists' assets;
to deny terrorists freedom of movement by using effective border
controls and secure travel documents; to prevent terrorists from
acquiring weapons, including weapons of mass destruction.”
-- G.W. Bush, 9/14/05

Unwittingly, ka-Dubya has provided us with Grammie’s solution to rid the free planet of “these” G.I. Joe action-figures that call themselves our leaders -- just substitute the words, “The United States” for “We,” and “unjust armed conflict ” for “terrorist acts,” and “Bush Enabler(s)” for “terrorist(s),” and... Ohhh, alright, I’ll just swerve his words here for you:

“THE UNITED STATES must do all we can to disrupt each stage
of planning and support for UNJUST ARMED CONFLICT. Each of us
must act, consistent with past U.S. CONSTITUTION resolutions, to
freeze BUSH ENABLERS’ assets; to deny BUSH ENABLERS’ freedom
of movement by using effective CRIMINAL INCARCERATION controls
and secure (confiscate) BUSH ENABLERS’ travel documents, to prevent
BUSH ENABLERS from acquiring (and using) weapons, including
(manufacturing and maintaining) weapons of mass destruction.”
-- Scoppertop 10/13/06. Wouldn’t ya’ know...

Paging UN Security Council Members -- get on it pronto, but keep it secret from Neck-Bolton... and don’t forget to freeze the BUSH ENABLERS’ assets that were secreted into their offshore bank accounts! Talk about smoked-offshore bacon... A refund of our taxpayer money from frozen (read: liquidated) Con-U warmonger assets would be a nice bonus outcome to a UN-enforced end to the Iraq war.

NEXT TIME, TRY "WISK!"

Just over one year later, ka-Dubya is busy pulling the dusty “Illusion of WMD” trick out of Iran’s hat, but his magician-costume sleeves are too “rolled up” to hide the nuculars. Bush Enablers can’t even hide their lies under the USS Eisenhower flotilla, now parked near Iran’s Halloween-decorated territorial waters -- a sacrificial lamb if I ever saw one.

Bloody hell! Bush might as well drag Iran’s WMD through the mud of New Orleans so our new neo-media “critics” have something dirty to pounce on, instead of egging Iran to pounce on a territory-invading flotilla... why couldn’t it be Chevon’s “The Condoleezza Rice” sitting out there?

Too bad they don’t teach anything except how to be a white-collar criminal at Con-U. Bush’s last Iran-Gate revelation was part of the closing niceties -- by now, you can see the swerve for yourselves:

“Terrorism and armed conflict are not only threats to
our security, they're the enemies of development and
freedom for millions.”
-- G.W. Bush, 9/14/05

Other security threats and enemies of development and freedom that ka-Dubya fails to mention are: Karl “Bad-mouth” Rove, his VP, his SOD, his SOS, his AG, his speechwriters, his appointees, his invited audiences, his rigged election-machines, his propaganda, his prowling for dissenters, his family history, his corporate lobby, his gouging and subsidies, and his stock-market, war, and oil contractors in top government positions.

WOULD YOU JUMP OFF A CLIFF JUST BECAUSE YOUR BEST FRIEND WANTS TO?

How could we forget our GOPwarts Congress-full of Con-U alumni with blatant disregard for the quality of anyone’s life but their own?

“These” and other Con-U lessons never end, they’re drilled into Bush Enablers’ heads repeatedly until the evil finally merges seamlessly with the gray matter -- Bush Enablers are the annoying little brats with Torture-ette Syndrome that we finally learned to ignore. Years ago. Before our feelings got hurt.

Is it becoming our duty to stoop to their level? It’s a start. There’s a reason that “devil” is nothing more than “evil” with a well-placed “D.” Those who have ears, let them hear the swerve.